Little Will - Safe in the Arms of Jesus

Today, Friday the 13th, was a sad day for me. I attended little Will Steven's funeral.
Little Will who had smiled and laughed at his dad and his mom, is no longer here on this earth to share his joy with his parents anymore. His little life snuffed out by the hands of his mother. We will never understand completely God's Sovereign will in these things but we can understand, that He - God is a good God, pure and holy. We can understand that for whatever reasons he allows evil to continue until Jesus comes, there is coming a day when this world, and it's fallen creatures will be restored to the glory and image of the intentions God as always had for man and His creation.
We ask why? I asked why? I asked this question a thousand times over after my wife's own tragic death. Why God?
God doesn't grow angry at our grief, he wants to share in it as much as he does our joy.
I think the message for all of us, is that we must remember and look beyond the darkness of this world to the day of resurrection. As the disciples mourned, and their fears overwhelmed them at the imprisonment of their king, as never before, Peter had to come to grips with his own flesh, his own self protectionism and fears. The disciples saw the evil of kingdoms and their men while they watched the one they loved so dearly, be beaten and scourged, tantalized and scoffed at, a cruel crown of thorns put upon his head. This done, by mere men who claimed to be leaders, political rulers and yet even religious leaders, who had stood in the synagogues on the Sabbath each week proclaiming Jehovah. Yet, here at their very own hands they were crucifying the one they claimed they loved.
The awful truth about all this though is where they stood in their hatred and their disdain for the Son of God, we stood, we were right there driving the nails through His flesh, His hands, His feet.
There we stood as His enemies.
Yet, in that moment before the cruel and senseless death he died, He, Jesus, cried out "Father forgive them for they know not what they do".
On that day when Mary Magdalene came to tell the other disciples not to despair for He had risen. I am sure much like us in our grief they must have been angry. They must have thought Mary, don't toy with our emotions. How can he be alive? We saw him, die, we saw him bleed, we heard that last agonizal breath he took, we saw the sword thrust into His side and the blood and water rush forth as his heart sack was ruptured open. We saw Him laid into the grave,we saw Him wrapped in cloth and the spices put on his body. Why, Mary do you play with our emotions? Yet, when they saw Jesus standing there, showing his nail scarred hands and feet and the scar in His side- Resurrection burst forth in their deepest emotions. They knew then, that death was not the final resting place for mankind, that Jesus had overcome both sin and death. It was Resurrection Day. It was no longer a feeling of hopelessness, but one of joy and anticipation for such a day to come for them as well.

Little Will, if he were to speak to us today, though a two year old child, he would remind us, that He forgives his Mommy, he loved her anyway.
He laughed when she held him, he cooed in her arms at one time, he played with his mommy, until that one fateful day.

Little Will is with Jesus now and he has to no longer fear this world we live in of fallen creation and it's fallen creatures. For you see, just as the disciples had lost hope and as we read the news around us, and we too often lose hope, the resurrection is just on the other side of that "curtain of death".
The darkness breaks forth into glorious light and the sense of absolute love untarnished by flesh and sin surrounds little Will now. It will someday surround us as well, if we have hope, hope for the Resurrection.
For time has no effect on our Creator, He is beyond time, He is the author of time, and for little Will Stevens, there will be no time- just eternity in the presence of the Lord.
He will no longer cry for food when hungry, for he will have the food and drink that satisfies for eternity - Jesus Christ at his side.
This is our only hope, for if Jesus was not raised from the dead, then our faith is useless are lives hold no meaning at all. There is no ground for hope, without the Resurrection. The hope we have is now the reality for little Will Stevens as he rest now, "Safe in the Arms of Jesus".
A young lady at the funeral today sang that song, a variation of it at least, and it reminded me too, that my Patti that I lost to a freak accident, to a wandering horse that had escaped it's fencing, that ended up in the middle of an Interstate in the early morning hours that we struck with our car just before daybreak, she too is there now, "Safe in the Arms of Jesus".
If the Resurrection to life eternal in the presence of Love unending and never failing, is not our desire above all things, then we have lost touch with God.
For in this world, we must recall the words of Jesus who said, "in this world you will have much tribulation but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.' This is our call, this is our mission, that in this life we live that we always be looking forward to that day, when the light will break forth dispelling the darkness and we too will be surrounded completely in God's love. For God is love.
I would like to quote those words so well written by a physically blind hymn writer Fanny Crosby, who lived her life never seeing the light of of day, yet in her spirit she saw more light than most of us could ever imagine with our own eyes that do see.

"Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on his gentle breast
There by his love o'ershaded
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! tis the voice of angels,
Borne in a song to me.
Over the fields of glory
Over the jasper sea.

Safe in the arms of Jesus
Safe on His gentle breast
There by His love o'ershaded
Sweetly my soul shall rest.

Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe from corroding care
Safe from the world's temptaions
Sin cannot harm me there.
Free from the blight of sorrow
Free from my doubts and fears
Only a few more trials
Only a few more tears

Jesus my heart's dear refuge
Jesus has died for me
Firm on the Rock of Ages
Ever my trust shall be
Here let me wait with patience
Wait till the night is o'er.
Wait till I see the morning
Break on the golden shore.

One last scripture before I close.
"For we know that if the earthly tent we live is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens" 2 Corinthians 5:1

Little Will, my friend Mickey's little boy, Patti Black, my former wife of just near 27 years and many more that we have loved and that have passed on beyond these unsafe shores are now "Safe in the Arms of Jesus"

Dr. J.

Miracle Story

To my readers, I have been on an adventure with our Heavenly Father this week. Let me tell you about it. It all started last week, sales were down, my dentures cracked in half again, my truck is running worse, the brakes and the front end are bad, and to top that, my Mother calls me Sunday telling me Dad is having heart problems again. She says his blood pressure has been weird and his pulse rate fast. Well come Monday she calls again and this time I speak with Dad and he tells me that his rate is running 150 plus. I tell him and Mom he needs to go to the hospital, that he is having another heart attack. So she takes him to the hospital and they sure enough admit him to the cardiac ward at the Veterans Hospital.
I too had suffered the same heart problem my father has back in 1997, Atrial Fibrillation. She told me they were going to do what they did with me, and if the drugs to get his heart back into normal sinus rhythm didn't work they were going to stop his heart with electrocardio shock and "hope" that it would return to normal.
Well come Tuesday she calls and tells me they can't get him back to a normal sinus rhythm with the drugs so they are going to have to shock him to get it back. On top of all the other things that were going on in my life, I was very upset.
My wife understood that and placed a call to her former sister in law who attends the "church" we all go to in Athens, Texas. She called back in minutes and the "church" had decided to purchase me a plane ticket home at the cost of a round trip to Albuquerque and back home by Southwest Airlines, so I could be with my Mom and see my Dad.
I called my boss, who has been a wonderful guy when it comes to understanding the need to be with family. He is Mormon, and I can say for the Mormons- family is all important. We may have deep doctrinal differences but he has always been a standup guy and understanding when it has come to my needed time off work for family matters. I have love for him and his family. I pray for their conversion to truth everyday.
I have deep doctrinal differences in the areas for "church" practice even with the "church" I attend as you can tell by my writings. I attend because there is always a need for love above all things for those we have a relationship with.
Love conquers all.
My wife and step kids and step grandchildren like going there and I personally have a love for their Pastor, as he is a guy that has a sincere love for others. Though we may have differences on my view of things versus his view, we have a love and respect for each other. I admit I am not a consistent building attendee, because of my deep held beliefs in what I beleive should be early Christian Orthopraxy (church practices) for the church. I love God's people whereever they may be and love the body of Christ. I will be talking more about this in future writings, as I have said some very firm things in regard to this. I stand on these things as much as I do what is considered Orthodoxy( church beliefs or doctrine, as taught by Christ, the Apostles and the early church). I have considerable differences over what has happened to Christianity as a result of the changes made by the early church fathers (the paternalistic age) once the Apostles had passed on. I however, will never allow these differences to affect my love for my Christian brethern that may not understand these things or what has happened to the Ekklesia and how we need to return to the practices of the early Ekklesia. Understanding can only be taught most often to others by love and not debate, example and not force.
I want to say the body that gets together there at Faith Church in Athens is like any of the rest of us, they have problems wrestling with the world, the flesh and the devil everyday, but the one thing that helps them conquer often is love for one another and a very understanding and listening Pastor. Brother Leon Wallace is a fine men, and loves God's children. He is only trying to fulfill what he believes God has called Him to do, and the gift of teaching the Holy Spirit has bestowed upon him.
The believers there surely aren't perfect in their faith or their walk and neither am I. I love them all dearly, though we have lots of differing opinions about things. I want to thank those that were behind the decision to provide the funds for my trip home to be with my parents and those that gave this money and took it from their pockets to provide a point of love to me to come out here and be with my family.
I want to now return the spiritual blessing that comes with giving by writing what has transpired since their gift of love.
I want to tell the story of a miracle. My story while here.
I am not one to jump on the miracle boat, or fanciful stories often told by various groups. I approach everything in light of scripture and reality. I don't just accept stories told, I believe just as Jesus had the Leper follow the prescribed verifications for healings as laid out in the traditions of men (The Talmud)and in the Torah (Law of Moses) we should verify all miracles today with the methods provided us today to show the truth of the Gospel of Christ and the power of God in people's lives.
The Leper had to first go show himself to the Priest as prescribed by the Law of Moses and then offer a gift to God. (Luke 5:12-14
The man born blind and healed by Jesus, had to face the interrogation as prescribed by the Talmud and His family had to be interrogated by the high priest as well. (John the 9th chapter)
Jesus told the Leper and the blind man to do all these things as the Pharisees had developed a teaching to verify miracles in their writings known as the Talmud. Moses had prescribed a means in which the Leper was to be proven healed. They did this as there were many fanciful stories told of healings, demons being cast out and more, and many teachers who were not Jewish, etc. This was their way to determine the authenticity of a miracle. It was also as written in the Talmud only certain miracles would be able to be performed by the Messiah to prove he was the Messiah.Interestingly enough, Jesus did all of these.
Today, if we doubt a miracle we can use doctors, reports and all kinds of scientific verifications.
Jesus's miracle was proved using their prescribed methods to the "T" and most of all because there had never been anyone heal a Leper which was one of the things according to their traditional teachings that would verify who was the Messiah.
Only the Messiah, if he came would be able to do this.
Believe it or not, when the Jewish leaders crucified Christ they absolutely, beyond a shadow of doubt, knew they were crucifying the Lord of glory, the Messiah.
Anyway, back to my story.
There should never be any guess work, imagination or making things that aren't true true. That is deception. So I can tell you now, I don't just accept someone's stories of miracles unless they are verifiable. So, I tell you this story because it is true and happened to myself and family while I was here.
Thursday my father was given a stress test, the typical one, running the treadmill and cardiac analysis while having it done. He didn't do that well on it, but his heart seem to be doing well after they had shocked him Wednesday, and had returned to normal sinus rhythm. Wednesday night he did well, heart looked good. Thursday, he did well, Friday morning (today) they had decided to give him a chemical stress test and do some cardiac imaging as well, to insure that once his heart had to do some work he wouldnt have another heart attack.

This morning I got up a little late tired from running to and fro from the hospital for days now, I over slept and wasnt up at the hospital yet when they had Dad do a different physical stress test, and some imaging. Mom had spent the night with Dad there at the hospital. I rushed to get there, and they were ready to take him back upstairs. I pushed him back up in the wheel chair, thinking how it is strange that when we get old all things are reversed. When we were children, our parents had to care for us, nurture us, see us through our illnesses, our bumps, our bruises, but as we get older, we have to now do this for them. What a priviledge it is to return things to your parents that were provided for you so many years ago. Love, compassion care and more. If all Christians could only see how important this is, we could eliminate a lot of lonely shut ins- nursing homes and more.
Well they then did a chemical test on Dad, giving him a drug which makes the heart work harder, speeding up the hard rate, and then taking images of the heart while this all going on.
Well, Mom was a nervous wreck, it was taking a lot of time for some reason for his last imaging with the drug stress test. She could see back in the area where he lay in the imaging machine. She could see several people coming over there and all about him this brought her some concern which was very human on her part to be concerned. I admit I was as well. She walked back there and asked what was going on. Well the machine broke down during his imaging and they had to call the Techs over to fix it while he laid there. They finally got it up and running and he was done. I pushed him once again upstairs to his room in ICU. Knowing it would now be a wait for the Cardiologist to come up to Dad's room. I am talking to Dad while he is sitting up and he is conversing back. I am also watching the cardiogram hookup and noticing his pulse is rising, he is throwing a few PVC's (that's pre-venticular contractions and his pulse rate is rising and bouncing up and down like a ping pong ball. The only reason I can use all these terms and have any understanding of them at all is that I served the Glenwood Springs Emergency Services for 3 years as a certified Firefighter One and Medic. I also had Advanced Cardiac Support training and could interpret cardiac charts, as I took a nursing level course at St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado in the subject. I had worked on many a heart patient in the back of an Ambulance in my years there at Glenwood Springs Emergency Service.
Anyway, I call the nurse and ask her if they had yet given Dad his new Beta Blocker, Metopropyl, as his heart was definitely starting to go Tachy and was showing something other than a sinus rhythm. The nurse said no, so she comes in and gives him the pill. Well I waited a bit and assumed he would be fine. As I was leaving I noticed his BPM (beats per minute) was 146. I pointed to Mom and went on. Within an hour of getting home she calls me, crying and upset saying Dad was back in Atrial Fibrillation and the Cardiologist was telling her he was going to have some more invasive procedures. She was very upset and asked me to return and bring his CPAP, which is a breathing machine designed for people with sleep Apnea like myself and my Dad. I got there as soon as I could. On the way, I stopped and breathed a prayer for Dad. Asking the Lord to heal him, and let me have some more years of his wonderful laughter and jokes if it was within His will. I love his smile and and he loves to laugh. I like to make him laugh.
I arrive to find Mom and Dad in tears. Mom told me to talk to the Cardiologist nurse specialist that was the Cardiologist Assistant. Her and I walked around the corner from Dad's room and begin to talk. She begin to tell me the imaging shows some heart disease and damage, and that he will have to stay there and Monday they are taking him in for a Cardiac Catherization. Just as she is giving me the bad news, the Cardiologist walks up and says, "no, wait a minute, we have a change of plans". He tells her and I to follow him in to the room. We do, and he begins to speak.
He says, "I have some good news for you". He says, (quoting)" I don't undertand it but when I and the other Cardiologist were looking at your imaging, we saw diseased and damaged heart tissue.. He said so we took the images to confer with the other Cardiologist and when we all set down together, to look at the images again, there was no damage or diseased tissue showing in the images. We are going to send you home!
"I don't understand it", he replied.
My Dad says, "Well know one can know as much as God and the Doctors".
I and my Mom said it was God. The doctor agreed.
He tells us Dad will live fine with the Atrial Fib as I have since 1997, for him to continue to take the medication, get some exercise and come back for an Echogram in June, a visit with the Cardiologist for a followup in about a month, but he would need no other treatment that they can see as of now.
He is to get himself a new CPAP facial mask fitting on Monday and to use it every night, but he has a good Ventricular beat and he would be fine, go home.
For see, God has so designed our hearts that even when they don't beat perfectly, the ventricular lower half of our heart does all the work and keeps it going. Even when the Atrial just can't get it together all the way, the Doctors have come up with medicines, like the one I am on, which will help our bottom half of our heart keep up a good beat for years to come, and keep the life blood flowing through our veins. God is the great designer and the inspiration for many of these wonderful things discovered by Doctors and researchers. He gives men the ability to see beyond the surface of our skin and look inside. He gives them many abilities to heal us, but ulitmately when it gets down to the bottom wire, he holds all the juice that heals us and keeps us alive. A Doctor can never be God, he can only be a hand of the Lord and only when the Lord chooses to use them. God does use Doctors, but sometimes in cases like this he humbles even the best of Doctors with the surprises that he holds in His hands.
In my mind, that is a miracle!
Confirmed by the Doctor's. No sign of damage or disease. One minute two Cardiologist are saying he is in trouble and I am thinking now I have to call my boss to make arrangements to return to work later, changing flights, my sister was about to fly down and others suddenly between the time these two Cardiologist are going to confer with others, God does a miracle and there is no sign in the images of a problem, and I get to take my Dad home.
What an Awesome God we have!
He is and has always been "the Great Physician"!
This is one of the many confirmed miracle stories I can tell.
God has not ceased from doing miracles, but we must always remember, He does them when He chooses to, in His own timing, His own way, and in His own day. We can't manipulate the Father to do anything for us, even prayer doesnt manipulate God, not when we pray in His will.
"Not my will, but your will be done", this allows us in our heart to see God first and our desires second,this allows us to see God.

Dr. J

in Albquerque, New Mexico with a smile on his face.

The Toll of the War in Iraq

Now, I am going to write about something, I believe very strongly about and as a result there will be some of you that will get mad at me. I already know this has been a long standing argument within the organized church. There shouldn't be, if people will take God's Word over man's word and leave it at that, there would be none. As I had written in an earlier article man has a propensity to take the Commandments (The Word of God) and make it of no effect because of the traditions of men. The tradition, I want to speak about is the one developed by Augustine, who was one of the early church Fathers, who came up with the idea of a "JUST WAR". The just war theory also has a long history. Whilst parts of the Bible hint at ethical behaviour in war and concepts of just cause, the most systematic exposition is given by Saint Thomas Aquinas. In the "Summa Theologicae" Aquinas presents the general outline of what becomes the just war theory. He discusses not only the justification of war, but also the kinds of activity that are permissible in war. Aquinas's thoughts become the model for later Scholastics and Jurists to expand.

Early Christians did not believe men, but believed God and abstained from war and in most cases military service altogether. Once Constantine conquered the empire and esablished a church-state and Augustine who developed the idea even more of a physical "City of God" and spread the idea of a Christian nation and fighting for it, I want to say in my opinion all else went "to hell in a handbasket", in relation to Christian men and women loving their enemies. We suddenly took on the ways of the world.
A very dark history of the organized church proves that. Though Martin Luther wanted the church or common people to have the freedom to read and study God's word even he did not allow for true freedom in Christ, as he and Calvin persecuted and were responsible for the deaths of many Ana-Baptist, because they were scriptural and preferred "sitter's rights" and believed in "non-resistance". The AnaBaptist believed in the Kingdom of God only, not the kingdom of men, and they wanted to see an end to the priest-pastor in the church and return to the "priesthood of all believers" (a plurality of pastors-elders), where each man had a right to speak in assembly, as lead by the Holy Spirit and others would judge what was said. This would have eliminated the "one man" show and today we might be practicing in the assembly according to the tradition of the Apostles and the early church and Christ very own teaching. Once again, the traditions of men superceded the Word of God and those who really were closer to the teachings of Christ and church practice were sacrificed and killed for a structure of power over others. The Baptist organization as known today gave into this structure of power, even those that once beleived in "sitter's rights" have given into a structure of power over others in their assemblies and in their organization and structure. The churches of the German Brethern and the remaining AnaBaptist - the Mennontites have turned to the traditions of men in this one area as well. Power over others continues to be one of the greatest failures of the church today. It hasn't changed since the early church writer and "so called early church father" Origen set this all in motion with his raising the Bishop to the level of equality with Christ himself.
Jesus did not teach power over others, but power under. Some say Christ was not a non-resistor. Well, let's look at one of the strongest scriptures of His established new covenant with men.
Open your Bible to Matthew 5:38, and let's get rid of the idea of justifying war altogether and any concept that just because Israel did so under the Old covenant and a theocracy, that justifies us under the new relationship with God our Father which happens to be not a physical theocracy as Israel had but we are under a spiritual one, with Christ as our Head.
Here Jesus speaks very precisely, "You have heard that it was said, Eye for an eye, and tooth for tooth." NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY AND DON"T CHANGE WHAT HE SAYS HERE. "But I tell you." (Now remember this is God come down to men in the flesh) "Do not resist an evil person."
Let's be clear about that, DO NOT RESIST.
Now for me a biblical student, I don't have to do a lot of digging to understand His words, plain and simple. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Doesn't that just burn you up, that Jesus would actually tell us, to allow someone to hit us physically, yet we aren't to strike back but give them the other cheek to strike. I don't know about you, but in my flesh, I say, hit them back.
If we as Christians, have the living resurrected Christ living in us, this is just what should not result, striking back at our enemies. Our lives should be exemplary of that same life that he had while here on earth. So we excuse it with it, well "I'm not Jesus". Well, let's take a moment with me and go over to I John 2:6 - "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did".
Now Israel was under the iron hand of Rome. Jesus ended up under Pilate a ruler of Rome. All of Isreal was disappointed that he wasn't the military Messiah they were looking for and even today they do not accept Christ as Messiah because of who he is the Prince of Peace. Just as he said to Pilate, John 18:36 - "My kingdom is not of this world. if it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place." We as believers have this same Kingdom, not a different one then he had.
The United States of America may be where we exist physically, but the Kingdom of God is the only one we have allegiance to, and thus His Kingdom, doesn't seek revenge, nor does it war with others over real estate, oil or any other ideal. To do so, makes us no better than the Muslims who believe in their kingdom. I highly recommend a great book written by a great Christian entitled. "The Myth of a Christian Nation", by Gregory A. Boyd, who handles the question of non-resistance for the beleiver in a tremendous way taking us through scripture and a greater understanding of verses like Romans 13:1-7.
I don't have the time or space to do it here.
What brought me once more to writing on this subject is the most recent news.
"Nearly 800 Iraq contractors killed."
Now. let's count up, some say it was 2,200 or a little more that got killed in the World Trade Center attack, collapse and destruction.
George Bush called for vengeance, no less in the name of the Christian God, and got our blood all stirred up and the next thing you know, we were ready to kill anyone that George could point his finger at and say they were responsible for all this. Well, now we have lost over 3,300 servicemen and 800 contractors serving in Iraq. That brings the toll since 911 to over 5,500 men, or women dead as a result of our want and need for vengeance and blood. I can call it nothing less than that. We can justify it under the idea of fighting for freedom, but don't you realize in the mind of the Muslim, they too worship a "pagan god of war", and beleive they are fighting for freedom as well.
See when like minds have the same purpose and goal of destroying one another with the same justifications, who is right? You want to know the truth, neither one of them. Thus, Paul writes in Romans 12:9-21- Summary: Do not repay ANYONE evil for evil. This includes a terrorist or Muslim or any other people our nation at any one time percieves as an enemy. For those who call themselves, Christians, we are to do just the opposite that the world would do, love our enemy.
See nations will deal with their problems the way men do, in the flesh. Whereas Christians, our sole allegiance is to be to Christ and His Kingdom. Somewhere down the line we have made the traditions of men and Augustine, supercede the Word of God and justified and even supported the ongoing hatred for others. Even the Muslims still refer to us as the Crusaders because of an even darker time in Church history where we killed, maimed and slaughtered millions of Muslims for the sake of the call of the Pope and the known church to gain salvation. Yes, that's right, the Pope made it clear to the Christian Crusaders to die for their cause to obtain Jerusalem under Christian control, that those who died doing so, would be guaranteed salvation and go to heaven. Now America has chosen a new Pope, a mislead President, that even beleives God talks to him directly - super canonically( outside of scriptural verification or justification) and gives Him his justifcation for war.
Hitler, did the same thing, the church at that time, listened to the same rhetoric and as a result thousands and thousands died needlessly while the Christian church of Germany went along with Hitler's ideals and the church stood by supporting it. German Christian men enlisted in Hitler's troops. One man, alone took a stance against Christian Nationalism in his country of Germany, his name was Dietrich Boenhoffer. One of the better recognized Theologians of today. The result he and his family were later killed by Hitler and his troops. Though, some rumor has come forth that he may have plotted to kill Hitler himself, I believe, that he understood and by the way, it was only a rumor that he planned to kill Hitler himself, the difference between the Kingdom of God and the kingdom of men. He gave allegiance to God, and taught the Word, and died as a result of it. If you were to die today as a Christian, by the hands of a terrorist, would you be any of the worse because of it. Of course not, if you are truly born again and filled with the Spirit of Christ, you too would be looking beyond the grave to that great day of resurrection, when there shall be no more war, pain, tears or death. Only everlasting peace in Christ our Lord. May we never forget as believers, He is the Prince of Peace, not the prince of war. The toll of war in Iraq will grow as long as Christians support the death and continued destruction of a nation and it's people's will die, our sons will die, our husbands will die, our wife's, daughters and mothers will die all for a cause that has absolutley nothing to do with advancing the Kingdom of God. So, if you don't like what I have written here. Too bad, I love you all the same.
The Toll of the War in Iraq is beyond the number of deaths you hope to avenge at the World Trade Center, and yet, it continues and many who call themselves Christians are supporting it, with the preaching of another gospel, which is no gospel at all. It is a false gospel and one which our Saviour made it very clear, "my kingdom is not of this world". Until the day believers understand this, there will be war always and the false premise that one men made goverment is more righteous than another, and the sad thing Christians will die not for the sake of righteousness but for the sake of a presumed freedom. Only Christ can set a men truly free, not any nation. Christ said ALL NATIONS WILL BE judged. This includes Israel, the United States, no exceptions. There is no such thing as a "Christian Nation". There are only Christians that live in a nation. We are not part to this kingdom, we only live in it and are to pray for it, but we are not to be of the world, only in it, so that we might live out, Christ in us, which is the hope of glory! We are to be it's salt, it's light, but as it goes so often we have allowed ourselves to be many things else, we only promote the confusion so that everything righteous becomes nothing but gray areas of what individual belief and men's traditions define rather than what our Lord had to say about it all. The world cannot not see anything different about a believer than they can find in corporate board rooms where people take sides and fight for control to have power over others.
The institutional church has taken on these same tactics often and the church doesn't become a sanctuary from the world, it becomes just like them.
Where's the difference? There is none! We should find rest from our flesh when we come together as an assembly. There should be peace, love and righteousness.
I pray that we can only come to terms with Augustine's ideas, and throw them out for the lies they are. There is no "just war" for Christians. Until the day Christ returns and the sons of God are revealed and then we will have a Theocracy again, should we as believers realize the wars of men are not our affairs. There will be that day where He calls the shots not men. The wicked and the evil and the nations of this world will face judgement. God help us to know the truth and set us free from hatred, and vengeful thinking and allow us to have "the mind of Christ", who loved his enemies to the bitter end at the cross and said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". "Who died for us while we were yet his enemies."
The toll of the war in Iraq, is death and more death. Do we really care about life or not? Stand up and let your voice be heard. Let your stand for pro-life be real. Pro Lifer's do not kill others period, unlike some of the mislead individuals in the movement to stop abortion. We are to change the world by being the very opposite of what this world is. Jesus first, above all else. Let me close with these words from James 4:1-10 from the American Standard Version.

Whence come wars and whence come fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your pleasures that war in your members?
2 Ye lust, and have not:ye kill, and covet, and cannot obtain:ye fight and war; ye have not, because ye ask not.
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may spend it in your pleasures.
4 Ye adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore would be a friend of the world maketh himself an enemy of God.
5 Or think ye that the scripture speaketh in vain? Doth the spirit which he made to dwell in us long unto envying?
6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore the scripture saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble.
7 Be subject therefore unto God; but resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye doubleminded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep:let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall exalt you.


Dr. J.

PTSD and The Returning Soldier

I want to write here about something I know a little something about, PTSD, otherwise known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is not psychobabble, it is a very real condition that affects 5.2 million Americans! What is it?: Here is some information by the American Medical Association.

What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?
PTSD is a real illness. People may get PTSD after living through a disturbing or frightening experience. It can be treated with medicine and therapy.You can get PTSD after you have been:
Raped or sexually abused
Hit or harmed by someone in your family
A victim of a violent crime
In an airplane or car crash
In a hurricane, tornado, or fire
In a war,
In an event where you thought you might be killed, or
After you have seen any of these events.

If you have PTSD, you often have nightmares or scary thoughts about the experience you went through. You try to stay away from anything that reminds you of your experience.
You may feel angry and unable to trust or care about other people. You may always be on the lookout for danger. You can feel very upset when something happens suddenly or without warning.

This Disorder will affect almost every American soldier, your son, your daughter on return from Iraq. Regardless, of what you believe or think about this war, it doesn't matter, but it does matter to your children. I know, I suffer from PTSD. Mine is very complicated, it is the result of years as a Firefighter and a Medic and then the horrible car crash I was in.and other incidents in my life. The most important one to trigger it was a car crash where I was driving, that ended with the death of my dear wife of 27 years.

The truth is, God is always right, especially when it comes to war. Jesus, taught us to love our enemies. Whenever a soldier man or woman kills or maims or injures another human being, regardless of what he is taught in the military, regardless of what he believes his justification is, deeper in his psyche, something will happen. This shock to the human mind will be there as an enduring memory. A very bad memory.
These are just a few of the symptoms you can expect your loved one to have when they do return from Iraq.
This is a small list compiled of the symptoms and treatments for Veterans. I drew this from the web site Viet Nam Vets against the War in Iraq. These are men who returned to find their lives in shambles and many ended up on the streets of America, homeless and messed up, drug users and alcoholics and wondering with no direction to go, until they found help.

And the good soldier John or the good troop Jane, who under fire never once thought of your civil rights, your silly flag, your doofus politics. Good Johnny or Jane, I say, feel and act a tad differently when the locked down feelings, bottled up memories, instinctive behaviors of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder fervently, unexpectedly kick in.
The symptoms of PTSD, in plain bloody English, are as follows:

• Flashbacks: seeing and feeling a combat event as if it were happening right now.
• Hyper Vigilance: being always on guard, always looking for where the next shot, next grenade, next rocket, ambush or IED will come next.
• Survivor Guilt: feeling bad, feeling real bad for having survived, where others in the platoon or squad didn't.
• Moral Guilt: wrestling with actions one did or did not take on.
• Startle Reflex: dropping, flinching, turning fast at a sudden noise or unexpected touch.
• Suicidal Ideation: thinking of killing oneself.
• Homicidal ideation: thinking of killing people. Friends or complete strangers.
• Homicidal Rage: anger way out of proportion to an everyday event. It comes quick, down and dirty.
• Sadness, depression, anxiety, crying spells: Staring into space, saying nothing.
• Nightmares: violent dreams related to combat. Sometimes it's the same dream. Some vets make strange noises. Thrash in bed. Wake up scared, or sweaty.
• Ritual Behavior: at night checking the lights, locking the doors, maybe keeping a weapon at hand.
• Alienation: a vet feels as if no one understands him, doesn't fit in, feels as if he or she should have never returned
• Panic Attack: for a short time the combat vet becomes suddenly and intensely afraid. He or she sweats, breathes hard. has a pounding heart, might get dizzy, choke
• Social isolation: staying alone for long periods of time. Or in public saying very little. To the point of being noticeably very quiet
• Drug and alcohol abuse: whatever works to dull the pain glowing inside one's head
•Fear of emotional intimacy: combats often won't let anyone get close to them. If someone gets too close. the vet backs off or pushes them away
• Employment: a lot of vets can't keep a job. Every couple of months quit or get fired
• Psychic Numbing: not have the ability to feel emotions. Vets talk about feeling hollow, blank, empty.
• Denial: Problems'! What problem? I don't have a problem.
•High Risk Behavior: doing daredevil stuff to re-live the rush of combat.

These symptoms are normal responses to extraordinary events outside the range of normal human experience. Most civilians are clueless about combat and its aftermath.

Some types of treatment:

• The talking Cure: a vet talks to a therapist who is skilled in treating war stress and is not a paid bullshitter.
• Group therapy: seven to ten vets meet once a week for an hour or two. A good group leader is essential. That person knows when to talk, when to listen, how to keep the vets focused. Otherwise, group therapy can get lame fast
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): a form of hypnosis in which the vet is fully awake.
• Exercise. Meditation. Meds. A friend who will just listen. An artistic endeavor.
and
*Faith in God.

One other thing. This is real important: a lot of Vets fear talking about war. They fear losing control. Breaking down. Crying. My advice to those who have seen combat; face yourself. Chances are good you will learn to live less in the past, more in the present, but you will never be the same. WW II. Korea, Panama. Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, Central America, wherever you were. Whatever you did in war will always be with you. Always.

PTSD will not only affect your son or daughter, husband or wife but it will at times devastate them. You must be prepared to handle this, you need to research it now, so you can help them through.

I have been on medication for almost 5 years now that has helped some, I sleep better, I eat better and the flashbacks to the things that have affected me aren't as bad, but at anytime, something can trigger it. PTSD, has cost me jobs, difficulties in my marriage and in my family life, it has affected my behavior. My PTSD came as a result of seeing too much death, injury and stupidity of humans, murder, fights, and more. Much of this came in the late 80's and early 90's due to my 3.5 years of being a FireFighter/Medic and in my 20 years as a Private Investigator, I saw it all.
I have seen people, opened up like animals while doing part of my duty as a Medic in assisting the Pathologist with autopsies at the local hospital. This was part of our duties, when we weren't on a call. I have seen bodies, fried by fire, maimed and killed by others, children dead and more. The thing that topped it all off was the attempted rescue of my wife's own life while she lay in my arms beside me in our car and I gave her mouth to mouth, praying and hoping for her to live. She didn't. The memory of that incident has never faded. The whole accident often will attack my dreams and my daytime thoughts. The memory of others who have suffered similar losses in car accidents, mountain climbing and flying and more will always be there. Death, is something we must all live with, as someday we will die as well.
The hardest part for your returning Vets, will be that they were often responsible directly for the death of another human being. This is reality.
I wasn't responsible for the incidents I was involved in, but all the same, there is something in the human soul that loves life and clings to life and doesn't want to take life. That I believe is the creation we were made to be. We were made in the likeness of our Creator who called each of us to not kill others. Jesus clairifed this. It isn't left to argument. Love thine enemy, take no vengeance. These words are hard for Americans. They for too long have had war glorified in television and movies. They have not lived it.
Regardless of the Religionist and the Old Testament incidents. One, must realize, that in the end, death will be swallowed up and it will never exist again. This is God's purpose- life.
The thought of those dying around you, by you or near you, is not an experience every American has experienced. Thank God, this is so. September 9, 2001 was really the first experience for American "civilians"to have dealing with senseless violence and death. This is commonplace stuff in war torn countries, they live it out, they live through 911's everyday.
We can't even imagine what it is like, Iraqi's do, Palestianians do, Israeli's do and many other people in this world torn by war and greed. They watch their family members die in their arms.
Women, children and men. It doesn't matter, until you have been there and experienced the reality which goes far beyond the edited media you get on television news in America or in the war movies you watch.
It is as the voice of Marlon Brando in his part in as the renegade General in the movie "Apocalypse" said over and over at the end of the scene, "the horror of it all, the horror, the horror. "
You can't even begin to know what really goes on in the mind of a returning veteran who has actually been engaged in war, killing and seeing the death of fellow soldiers. He will pretend, often using profanity, as if it was no big deal. It's all a lie, he or she is afraid to cry. Let them cry, let them spill out their guts. This can be the beginning of healing.

God, deliver us from any more foolish wars for the sake of men's greed and need to influence power over others.
God keep you safe from ever having to experience what millions of police officers, firefighters, medics, soldiers and other health workers across the world deal with everyday in their duties. Find someone to talk to.
I can tell you, there is One who not only forgives, but comforts and that is your heavenly Father. He can teach you how to start letting go.
My PTSD grows less and less, but all the same, I still need medication to help me. Don't fear admitting, it hurts, it is terrible or whatever it takes to begin the healing process.
I'm still healing and probably will for a very long, long time. The good thing, is I know that my future is held by my Father in heaven and there is coming a day, when death will be swallowed up in victory. The fear is subsiding, the hope is returning.
I only can hope and pray for those that chose to put themselves in such a position as our soldiers to do the bidding of politicians, who will return with PTSD. God help them and their familes to understand. If you haven't lived it, you can't imagine, "the horror."

Dr. J.