Understanding the Old Testament

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Sherlock's Deductions

This is my latest blog. In the tradition somewhat of my former old blog, "Athens Independent News", I will be taking a look at News, Scripture and Life through my mindset of deductive thinking. I examine naturally everything by who, what, when, where, why and how. Drives some crazy, but that is just the way I think, and have thought most of my life.
While attending college, I majored in journalism and photography, and received my A.A. degree in this field. I also served as college staff news writer and photographer. I even got to be involved as a Journalist when President Ford came to town, and went through all the rig ma role to sit in the area of other famous journalist and photograph him, one of my favorite that I have taken only because of his importance.
I later went on to work for a small town newspaper in New Mexico, where I was on the Editorial Staff as Religious News Editor, Photographer and Feature story writer. In 1977 I also substitute taught public school for a year.
From 1979-1983, I started working in the "just kicking into major gear" cable and satellite television industry, I started as an installer, then became a technician, moved up as a Chief Technician, then into management and contracting. Meantime, I went to school for Digital Electronics in New Mexico because of my introduction to the first home PC's and work I had to do with them for my Satellite Technician position. My first- a Radio Shack TRS-80, then I bought a TI-99 4A.. all had a whopping 9k memory and cassette tape for storage and backup. Computers as I know and experienced over the years, are far advanced from the days of their introduction to the public. In the mid 90's I built BBS boards for dialup,and had one of the first for Private Investigators and then was on the Internet as soon, as it was publically available, so I have been on the long haul of computer technology for a very long time.
In 1984, Investigations fell into my life, while doing some freelancing and owning my own photography and video business, I was hired by a PI to do some work for Him, then in 1985, I opened my own Private Investigation and Security company in Aspen, Colorado, from 1985- 1991, I ran a very successful PI agency there even being awarded "Who's Who in Law Enforcement" and Who's Who in the West" and received accolades by local television and newspaper coverages. During this time from 1988-1991, I also acquired State Certification as a Firefighter and Certified EMT-B working on my Advanced Life Support, I attended classes on IV and cardio interpretation, passing both with A's. I logged thousands of hours on calls during this time in Emergency Services. I even got to assist in autopsies with the local pathologist! Learned a lot from that yucky experience.
In 1991 upon relocation to Texas, after selling the business, I served for a short time as a Medic in a metropolitan hospital. I went on to work in sales, customer service, computer networking, repair and back into Security Management where I ran Security for a major Fortune 500 company, for their largest warehouse facility in the United States, meanwhile in all this I attended UT of Tyler working on my Criminal Justice degree.
I also served as Private Police Chief for a Private Community. From 1997-1999 I had another PI business in Texas, closed that one, then again in 2001-2002, I had one, doing mostly public record research for various companies that I contracted to, and I did some pro-Bono criminal defense investigation work. Worked in a boys home in 2001 for about six months, sold burglar and fire alarms whatever it took to make a living, did consulting and more. My life was seriously changed two days before that Thanksgiving after 911, my wife was killed an a car accident sitting right beside me. We were to be married twenty seven years that coming January. I remarried in 2003, and now have three daughters (step) and nine grandchildren (step), all the same I consider them blood because of my love for them and theirs for me.
Since I left Security, Private Investigation, and Computer Networking, I worked in telephone sales and customer service, doing two years working in Health Human Services working the "CHIP" program "Children's Health Insurance Program" for the State of Texas through a private contractor. I am no longer working due to health issues, but in this time, I have written and published a book entitled "The Bondage," a Christians fictional short story. Located here for purchase http://thebondage.webs.com and many other places online Barnes and Noble, Lulu, Scribd, Wisdom books and others and soon to be on Amazon books, available in several formats, including audio. The book is written very simple for a teenagers reading as well. Written for 7th graders level and up. I am presently working on a crime novel, and another that I hope will become a significant book in Christianity, long after I am gone.
I have been studying the Bible since age six, and have spent thousand upon thousand of hours, researching, digging in, studying church history, language, etc. I served over these years in the capacity from time to time as Youth Pastor, Sunday School Teacher, Pastor, and in Evangelical Missions and as a Street Evangelist. I have planted and pastored a formal church and a home church. I have a permanent strong relationship with one dear brother in Christ, who we share like minds and heart and share our walk in Christ.
I have an honorary Doctorate Degree in Divinity and remain an Ordained Minister,both of these are just paper to hang on the wall, like about 30 other certificates, degrees and other accolades of men in both the "religious field and the job field" Matter of fact, they are all packed in a box along with my A.A. degree and all my other educational and work accolades.
I mention these, only because many to most, want some educational or experience resume, rather then the " I have walked with Jesus", like Peter and John.
I do have experience, and my personal study time exceeds anything I would have ever accomplished in "cemetary." My word for Seminary. Why? "The letter of the law kills, it is the Spirit that gives life."
I can hold my own against the geniuses of religion, because in spite of many of their carnal mindsets, and carnal thinking and reasoning, only the Holy Spirit is our guide into all truth, and He has been my teacher far too long to bend a knee to man's pridely accomplishments in "churchianity and their education."

Study the Bible, yes, but without the one who wrote the book telling you what the book is all about, you offer nothing but dead doctrines, dead words, and not Spirit and Life.
My faith is in the Living Word, not the written words of men nor am I a bible worshiper, I honor it, as it is the Story that leads to the knowledge of Christ the one we must worship and thus we must worship "Him" in Spirit and Truth. We are not called to worship the Story book, but the one that the Story is about.
Most of all, all my experiences, my walk with Christ and my work in this world, have provided me a wide variety of experience with people, places, skills and more. I also have been working with computers since the inception of them to the public, and have worked in Networking, PC repair and computer construction, software development, database design. I created, designed and marketed a software that was sold on the Internet to the public, and a two databases for loss prevention departments. and colloborated with two other people in their programming development, on both of these to sell on the Internet successfully before 911.
One of them which was sold and exclusively designed for and sold to Sony Productions Loss Prevention. The other was for Target Department Stores, warehouse, loss prevention department.
I have held positions in management, supervision, consultation and more.
To be quite honest, I have far more experiences in various lines of work then I care to mention here. I don't mention these to brag, but to explain, when I talk often I talk from experience not from research on a subject, or book learning, but actual job experience in the field to which I may be addressing and spiritual experience I may be referring to.
Often, because I do have knowledge of these things, which people are unaware of they think you are "a know it all". Well, I don't know it ALL but I hate to say it, I do know a lot more then most people just because of these varied experiences. Which can be backed up with letters of recommendations and personal references.
Written letters for the jobs, and letters of the heart for the walk with Christ.
I did what ever my heart determined to set out to do in the areas of work and career. I wanted to do something, so I did it. Choices we are given in good and evil, human will to salvation we have "none." Man has the power of choice to do the things as a human, whether good or evil, but none of these make for Holiness or Righteousness, these are reserved to God and His will, and only by His will men may be saved. The wonderful thing is He wills it, and it will be done. When it comes to spiritual things, we confuse our fleshly life with that of the Spirit, here we have our will in the flesh, but in the Spirit, there is only God's will. Thus no man comes to salvation by his human will, it is a divine act of God from beginning to end. I am not a Calvinist, or Armenian, I am one who believes in Universal Reconciliation, that God will restore ALL THINGS UNTO HIMSELF because He did so at the Cross, and His Will Be Done on Earth as it is in Heaven. In heaven there are no lost souls or creatures of his, thus he there will be none in the end AT ALL that are lost or cast off for some human imaginary torment for eternity. The Wages of sin is death, and Jesus took care of the spiritual death, we will only have to die the physical death. Adam brought sin and death to all, Christ will bring life to all. That says it all! Some lost and being in eternal torment, some found living in bliss while the majority suffer the pangs of a cruel punishment, that theology is for children, not those who have been trained up in love. That is not my theology, though it was at one time, until years of experience, and His love showed me His heart of hearts, and God is Love, not a tyrant.
Now I am in the closing days of my life, I want only to share the one thing that has carried me through this life, in all the good times, and the bad times and believe me, there have been many bad times, but my faith has sustained and my love of God all because of my Savoir - His name is Jesus Christ.
Now that you know most of what there is to know about me, on the positive side of men, and what they consider important and on some on my walk in Christ, you decide if you choose to read anything here. You can judge me right off, and perhaps miss some tremendous information and experiential knowledge and call me "anathema" or you can inquire and read this blog, and let God be judge in the end, of all things.
This site is simply a blog where I can share my insights, ideas, life,things I may be examining in the world outside of myself, and things within myself. It is a share site containing my many daily deductions or investigations of life and what is going on around us, and what may be going on inside of us.
BTW, I hate Facebook, it is a place of cruelty, and far too much snobbery and rejection of others, all the Social pages are. If you want to read this or not, I will never know, but I know those who supposedly call themselves my friends and family, and they are the most judgmental of all and many like them. I make this judgement based on experience of wasting my time there for over a year.
I hope you enjoy this blog and will comment from time to time. Any questions may be addressed to my Google email. May the Lord keep you and bless you beyond all you could ever imagine. I can boast of nothing, for it has all been of the Lord, for He reigns. I can only share my experiences learned and things I have learned and things I am learning, if you would like to be included or not included in my life, that is your choice. If you disagree with my views or experience, then do so, but don't use my personal blog to do so, send me email. I will be glad to discuss your disagreements, or judgements of me. Don't comment here, unless you have something good to say. I don't need another Facebook account, thank you. This is my BLOG!

Joe Black

Welcome to "It's Finished in Christ"

This is my newest blog, where I will explore the meaning of Christ words at the cross for Him and the world. So drop in often, as I talk about the COMPLETED VICTORY of CHRIST THE VICTOR, THE TRIUMPHANT KING OF GLORY.

Joseph Black D.D.

What We Can Learn From Esther

I spent sometime listening to one of my favorite individuals who has a teaching ministry. He is a professor at the Reformed Theological Seminary in Oviedo, Florida.
His name is Dr. Steve Brown. I have mentioned Steve before in an article.
I don't necessarily agree with everything Steve has to say, but I don't know of anyone that I do. I do as always take the good, and throw away the bad. Whenever we speak, God reveals truths and then there is often our own opinions, subjective views and more involved. It is by listening we can build upon a foundation of truths and formulate what God has in store for us to learn, and by sincere study of scripture, so that we might know his will and to gain the mind of Christ, so that we may be transformed in our thinking from the ways of this world.

Steve tells a story that I have to share about the days Clinton was caught having illicit sex with his intern Monica Lewinsky. There was a mother sitting near by and a Rabbi when the Rabbi overheard the mother say, "What do I tell my children, how do I tell them what "The President has done"? The rabbi sitting nearby speaks up and says to her, tell them about the men of the Bible - David, Abraham, Jacob, Jeremiah, Hosea and others.

Steve thought at that moment about Peter the hypocrite in the New Testament as well and of course himself.

Esther is a book of lessons for us about evil. We can learn from it, now that the Gospel story has been told in the New Testament.
What is the lesson here for Christians?
The first lesson is that one has to know what evil is before they can ever recognize good.
We as believers often forget from whence we have fallen. Where we are in the secret places that only the Father knows about, our past, present or future.

Where evil lies at our doorstep, and we must not forget when we come together to fellowship, the reason that the pagans aren't standing beside us, in our presence isn't we are good, but that He is good. Thus we as believers know evil, because we first saw it in ourselves and then we saw what we deserved and found Him who didn't deserve what we did, who paid the price we could not pay. No, we stand in fellowship as a believer only when we have first seen our own reflection in the mirror of evil and then partaken of the Grace of God.

The religious are never saved, until they have kissed the demons of their own evil will they ever come to recognize the need for a Saviour. We can't get better, for there is no good in us in the first place. Only the resurrected life of Jesus Christ transforms us as He lives His life out through us. Christ in you, is the hope of glory.

The book of Esther offers us important lessons that we must know about evil.

First, we are not former beggars, but present beggars that have been given bread.

If we look into evil in the book of Esther we see that often the most evil people are God's own people. This story as well doesn't ring well with the religious for it is full of evil by God's own people and by the enemy of God's own people.

Remember the prostitute who had sinned much was forgiven much in the New Testament.

The religious do not see their own failure but think because of their works righteousness they are good. They look down on those who have had the joy of finding a Saviour, knowing their own demons and how much they needed deliverance and found it. They love much because of it. Those with little love for others and only themselves must first kiss the demon of their own lives before they too will realize the Grace of God.

Let's look at some key things in Esther.
We have a young lady who is Jewish one of God's chosen people, whose cousin, Mordecai decides to take her in as his one of his family to raise her because of parental absence. She is described as absolutely beautiful.
She is taken before the king because of her beauty and her being a virgin, so that the King can choose his new harem and one to become Queen in replacing his Ex.

The King is doing this because he is irate with his wife for acting like a Gloria Steinhem. She over ruled his authority when he asked her to basically to come over to his party that he was holding for himself and some good old buddies. He wanted to show off her beauty. Who knows to what extent in that day and age.
She refused to go and do as he asked, she had her own thing going. She was having her own little party with the girls. She was an "independent woman".
The king was so upset about her actions and afraid that other women would follow, he made it an edict that "the man should be master of his home". This edict was passed to all the men of his kingdom.
Reaction, not response.
Men! Can you remember a time when we have we been guilty of that before?
We have to set down the rules to the wife or else, we often feel. So, we go on our high horse that "we're the boss!" "Do what I say or I will replace you"
Does that sound familiar in America?

Anyway, the King in his vengeance toward his wife sets out to have all the beautiful virgin women in his kingdom brought to him to be part of his harem and to come before him.
Esther is brought in, made a part of his Harem of Virgins, but she does more than that she seduces the king greater than all the others in his harem to become more than just a harem girl. She makes it to the top (she is the successful kind of girl who knows how to get to the top) and she becomes the Queen. She gains his favor over all the rest.
She never tells the King until the end of the story that she is one of God's people- the Jews, and keeps it hidden until the perfect timing of God.

Sensuality and lack of testimony are two sins we can point out right away when we want to sit in the chair of judgement of others sins.

We soon find a close partner or advisor of the King, Haman who is not Jewish, who wants to kill off all the Jews, especially Mordecai, who would not pay him the respect he felt he deserved and desired. Mordecai just wouldnt bow down in his presence.
Evil again comes in to play it's part to this story.
Haman plans and he convinces the King to send out a decree against all the Jews for purpose of their death and destruction. He makes the old, their a threat to your rule argument, they aren't like us, they believe differently, talk differently and at differently. We can't have that.
Mordecai goes into mourning and makes a big noise about it while covered in sack cloth and ashes. The Jewish people follow suit.
Esther ask why? She gets her servant to get the answer from her people, then proceeds to plan how she might get before the King a hearing when not invited to save her people and Mordecai, which was a very serious thing to do to go before the king uninvited with an issue, and if the king didn't hold out his scepter to you the law was death. It would be like jumping over the fence at the Whitehouse and running across the Whitehouse lawn just to go tell the President something. You are going to die, I guarantee before you reached the doorstep you would catch a bullet in the back.
Only because of her beauty does she earn the Kings favor in the situation and he extends his scepter to her, whereby she proceeds to ask the King if he and her and Haman will attend a party she is going to give in honor of Haman. They come, then she plans a second party like the first where the Kings agrees he will attend along with Haman and just her again, because she so pleased the King at this first one.

Haman is jubilant over his special relationship with the two. On his leaving he runs across Mordecai again and it inflames him with more anger, then he goes home on a bragging binge about you guessed it, himself.
Anger comes easy while intoxicated and bragging does to. I never met a drunk that didn't think they were six foot tall and bullet proof.
I too in my day of drinking the cup while it was red, would feel the same way.

Anyway, Haman's family tells him to build a gallows in the morning and have Mordecai hung on it, then go to the party. So he built the special hanging place for Mordecai that day.
That evening King Xerses (Ahasuerus) is trying to go to sleep so he ask for a boring book basically to have read to him until he would fall asleep, he hears "the chronicles", which aren't the biblical book we are familiar with, but his own kingdoms records and he reads the story about Mordecai, saving his life at a point in time from a plot by two of his doormen to kill him. So the king asks, was this man ever honored for being the hero he was in saving his life? The answer of course was, "No"!
So on the next morning Haman goes to see the king, he goes there with the intent purpose of asking for permission to hang Mordecai. Haman, the one that has plotted against God's people and desires nothing more than like Hitler tried, to wipe out the entire race of Jews (God's only chosen under the Old Covenant), because of his hatred of Mordecai who doesn't give him the honor he wants from all men walks in and he is asked a question by the King.
"What is to be done for the man whom the king desires to honor?
Haman thinking egotistically as usual, thinks the King is talking about him, and goes on to name all kinds of things that would enrich "him" personally that the king should do. At the last moment, he finds out all the robes and finest horses he suggested be given to such a man- thinking he is the man, aren't at all to go to him, but to Mordecai. He is left mourning and covering his head.

The second party starts that day that Esther had planned and Haman comes over to drink some wine with Esther and the King. Esther reveals to the king that she is Jewish and that someone has planned to kill her and her people the Jews. She then reveals it is Haman. Not only does this get the Kings anger going being more than a little intoxicated, but he walks out into the garden only to find on his return, Haman has fallen across the couch onto Esther's lap to beg for mercy, and the King believes he is assaulting her, so he calls for Haman's death immediately.
Haman ends up dying on the very gallows that he had built at his home for Mordecai and the other Jews. The rest of the story is on how the king removes any threat for the Jewish people and how he honors Esther, her uncle Mordecai and the Jews.

I have told you bits and pieces because my motivation is to get you to read your Bible, and to read this book, it is a wonderful story if you don't read it through religious eyes.
Read it in light of the New Covenant of God's grace and election of all that believe that are now His chosen people. For there is neither Jew nor Greek, bondsman or freeman nor male nor female, for we are all one in Christ.

I would like you to read it so that you might see 3 key points made here about evil.

I want you to read it to understand who we are in Christ, who we were before we came to know him, and the extent of tribulation we will face as believers from evil, and the outcome of the battle we find ourselves in.

Haman's persistence to destroy all the Jews is because Mordecai won't honor him.
So, lesson one- We learn of the persistent and horrible nature of evil. Esther 3:6
When you go back you find Haman is a direct descent from the Agatite, who had been historically "bad to the bone". They were persistent in evil.

Evil is always persistent and horrible. It is especially for God's people, because if we won't honor the evil found in this world, we will find ourselves pursued by the enemy. He cares way too much for himself to not have you enrolled in his little wicked army. So thus, through much tribulation we enter the Kingdom of God.

Lesson Two - evil has always been directed at God's people.

It is persistent to steal, kill and destroy His people.

The very last lesson to know is that persistent protection is always there from God our Father, in His timing and in His way.

Look at Esther 4:14 and 10:3.

The Father in the worst of our circumstances already has a plan with a good outcome.

Jesus came to us individually in the worst of who we are and what we have done. Then the Father doesn't quit at that, he persist in making all things for those that love God, work to the good. Patience and knowing who we really are, evil people who deserve nothing but destruction like the rest of mankind, and knowing salvation doesn't come from us but from God our Father through Jesus Christ. He is our deliverer.
Evil will not quit in this world until Jesus returns, evil will not quit persisting after us, it will not be appeased until it can conquer our spirits and raise the flesh to it's self centered position one again.
Evil is often found with God's people, but he restores us as He did any of these that we read of in the Old Testament or the New.
It will always persist after those that are His, which "we are now His chosen", "His royal priesthood".
The facts are that the enemy Satan, and the world and the flesh they combined have it out for you, if you are a Christian.
The facts are that in this day and age, as Corrie ten Boom said, "persecution of Christians is greater today than even we can find described in the book of Revelations." She knew this, she had traveled and seen the persecution of our brothers and sisters in nations like China, Saudi Arabia and more. She too had known persecution in her life time as a Jew under Hitler and then as a Christian.

The final most important fact to know is to recall that the battle has already been won by our Lord and Savour Jesus Christ and the final facts of the wars' outcome are known.

Let us look at Colossians 2:9-15 and Revelations 20:10

Present Truth
... for in him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily, and in him ye are made full, who is the head of all principality and power:
in whom ye were also circumcised with a circumcision not made with hands, in the putting off of the body of the flesh, in the circumcision of Christ; having been buried with him in baptism, wherein ye were also raised with him through faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, being dead through your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, you, I say, did he make alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses; having blotted out the bond written in ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us:and he hath taken it out that way, nailing it to the cross; having despoiled the principalities and the powers, he made a show of them openly, triumphing over them in it.

Future Truth

.. And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where are also the beast and the false prophet; and they shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

Now my hope is that you have kissed your own demons and recognize that they for you as a believer hold no power over your life, for your life is now hidden in Christ Jesus with God the Father. Covered by His blood, set free by his death and most importantly His resurrected life within us, we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus who gave his life for you and me.
A life to the grave and a life to resurrection.
Evil awaits every corner, no one is safe from it on their own. Our only victory lies in the hope within us, Christ who comes to live in us through the person of the Holy Spirit.
Don't laugh, don't judge others when you see them overtaken by evil. We love to make comments as Protestants about what is going on in the Catholic church with the priest, but don't forget we have our own, Jimmy Swaggerts and Jim Bakers and other men that have fallen prey to the lure of evil.
Kiss the demons in your own life (see yourself in a mirror), and then find deliverance from God from the evil that awaits and lurks around every corner to steal, kill and destroy, For without the Father's mercy and grace, you too will fail.
Evil is persistent, but God's deliverance and plan for us is more persistent, as the "victory has already been won".
Fall into the arms of Jesus, and know this, though we are just beggars at the table like all men, God has given us bread to eat, and wine to drink - his life for us.
Eat of Him and drink of Him who will come to sup with you, if you but just answer the door to His knocking on your heart. His promises are ours, and when we read the Old Testament in light of knowing the New Covenant of Grace, it becomes a story for us all to read and to learn from. It is a shadow and just a story until you know Christ and then there is so much gold in the simple story of a beautiful girl that we can learn from. We must remember we have to know the enemy to defeat it. Evil is our enemy, and God's holiness, His righteousness and His truth given to us freely who do not deserve it, are our only weapons against this dark world we live in.


Dr. J.

Little Will - Safe in the Arms of Jesus

Today, Friday the 13th, was a sad day for me. I attended little Will Steven's funeral.
Little Will who had smiled and laughed at his dad and his mom, is no longer here on this earth to share his joy with his parents anymore. His little life snuffed out by the hands of his mother. We will never understand completely God's Sovereign will in these things but we can understand, that He - God is a good God, pure and holy. We can understand that for whatever reasons he allows evil to continue until Jesus comes, there is coming a day when this world, and it's fallen creatures will be restored to the glory and image of the intentions God as always had for man and His creation.
We ask why? I asked why? I asked this question a thousand times over after my wife's own tragic death. Why God?
God doesn't grow angry at our grief, he wants to share in it as much as he does our joy.
I think the message for all of us, is that we must remember and look beyond the darkness of this world to the day of resurrection. As the disciples mourned, and their fears overwhelmed them at the imprisonment of their king, as never before, Peter had to come to grips with his own flesh, his own self protectionism and fears. The disciples saw the evil of kingdoms and their men while they watched the one they loved so dearly, be beaten and scourged, tantalized and scoffed at, a cruel crown of thorns put upon his head. This done, by mere men who claimed to be leaders, political rulers and yet even religious leaders, who had stood in the synagogues on the Sabbath each week proclaiming Jehovah. Yet, here at their very own hands they were crucifying the one they claimed they loved.
The awful truth about all this though is where they stood in their hatred and their disdain for the Son of God, we stood, we were right there driving the nails through His flesh, His hands, His feet.
There we stood as His enemies.
Yet, in that moment before the cruel and senseless death he died, He, Jesus, cried out "Father forgive them for they know not what they do".
On that day when Mary Magdalene came to tell the other disciples not to despair for He had risen. I am sure much like us in our grief they must have been angry. They must have thought Mary, don't toy with our emotions. How can he be alive? We saw him, die, we saw him bleed, we heard that last agonizal breath he took, we saw the sword thrust into His side and the blood and water rush forth as his heart sack was ruptured open. We saw Him laid into the grave,we saw Him wrapped in cloth and the spices put on his body. Why, Mary do you play with our emotions? Yet, when they saw Jesus standing there, showing his nail scarred hands and feet and the scar in His side- Resurrection burst forth in their deepest emotions. They knew then, that death was not the final resting place for mankind, that Jesus had overcome both sin and death. It was Resurrection Day. It was no longer a feeling of hopelessness, but one of joy and anticipation for such a day to come for them as well.

Little Will, if he were to speak to us today, though a two year old child, he would remind us, that He forgives his Mommy, he loved her anyway.
He laughed when she held him, he cooed in her arms at one time, he played with his mommy, until that one fateful day.

Little Will is with Jesus now and he has to no longer fear this world we live in of fallen creation and it's fallen creatures. For you see, just as the disciples had lost hope and as we read the news around us, and we too often lose hope, the resurrection is just on the other side of that "curtain of death".
The darkness breaks forth into glorious light and the sense of absolute love untarnished by flesh and sin surrounds little Will now. It will someday surround us as well, if we have hope, hope for the Resurrection.
For time has no effect on our Creator, He is beyond time, He is the author of time, and for little Will Stevens, there will be no time- just eternity in the presence of the Lord.
He will no longer cry for food when hungry, for he will have the food and drink that satisfies for eternity - Jesus Christ at his side.
This is our only hope, for if Jesus was not raised from the dead, then our faith is useless are lives hold no meaning at all. There is no ground for hope, without the Resurrection. The hope we have is now the reality for little Will Stevens as he rest now, "Safe in the Arms of Jesus".
A young lady at the funeral today sang that song, a variation of it at least, and it reminded me too, that my Patti that I lost to a freak accident, to a wandering horse that had escaped it's fencing, that ended up in the middle of an Interstate in the early morning hours that we struck with our car just before daybreak, she too is there now, "Safe in the Arms of Jesus".
If the Resurrection to life eternal in the presence of Love unending and never failing, is not our desire above all things, then we have lost touch with God.
For in this world, we must recall the words of Jesus who said, "in this world you will have much tribulation but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.' This is our call, this is our mission, that in this life we live that we always be looking forward to that day, when the light will break forth dispelling the darkness and we too will be surrounded completely in God's love. For God is love.
I would like to quote those words so well written by a physically blind hymn writer Fanny Crosby, who lived her life never seeing the light of of day, yet in her spirit she saw more light than most of us could ever imagine with our own eyes that do see.

"Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on his gentle breast
There by his love o'ershaded
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! tis the voice of angels,
Borne in a song to me.
Over the fields of glory
Over the jasper sea.

Safe in the arms of Jesus
Safe on His gentle breast
There by His love o'ershaded
Sweetly my soul shall rest.

Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe from corroding care
Safe from the world's temptaions
Sin cannot harm me there.
Free from the blight of sorrow
Free from my doubts and fears
Only a few more trials
Only a few more tears

Jesus my heart's dear refuge
Jesus has died for me
Firm on the Rock of Ages
Ever my trust shall be
Here let me wait with patience
Wait till the night is o'er.
Wait till I see the morning
Break on the golden shore.

One last scripture before I close.
"For we know that if the earthly tent we live is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens" 2 Corinthians 5:1

Little Will, my friend Mickey's little boy, Patti Black, my former wife of just near 27 years and many more that we have loved and that have passed on beyond these unsafe shores are now "Safe in the Arms of Jesus"

Dr. J.

Miracle Story

To my readers, I have been on an adventure with our Heavenly Father this week. Let me tell you about it. It all started last week, sales were down, my dentures cracked in half again, my truck is running worse, the brakes and the front end are bad, and to top that, my Mother calls me Sunday telling me Dad is having heart problems again. She says his blood pressure has been weird and his pulse rate fast. Well come Monday she calls again and this time I speak with Dad and he tells me that his rate is running 150 plus. I tell him and Mom he needs to go to the hospital, that he is having another heart attack. So she takes him to the hospital and they sure enough admit him to the cardiac ward at the Veterans Hospital.
I too had suffered the same heart problem my father has back in 1997, Atrial Fibrillation. She told me they were going to do what they did with me, and if the drugs to get his heart back into normal sinus rhythm didn't work they were going to stop his heart with electrocardio shock and "hope" that it would return to normal.
Well come Tuesday she calls and tells me they can't get him back to a normal sinus rhythm with the drugs so they are going to have to shock him to get it back. On top of all the other things that were going on in my life, I was very upset.
My wife understood that and placed a call to her former sister in law who attends the "church" we all go to in Athens, Texas. She called back in minutes and the "church" had decided to purchase me a plane ticket home at the cost of a round trip to Albuquerque and back home by Southwest Airlines, so I could be with my Mom and see my Dad.
I called my boss, who has been a wonderful guy when it comes to understanding the need to be with family. He is Mormon, and I can say for the Mormons- family is all important. We may have deep doctrinal differences but he has always been a standup guy and understanding when it has come to my needed time off work for family matters. I have love for him and his family. I pray for their conversion to truth everyday.
I have deep doctrinal differences in the areas for "church" practice even with the "church" I attend as you can tell by my writings. I attend because there is always a need for love above all things for those we have a relationship with.
Love conquers all.
My wife and step kids and step grandchildren like going there and I personally have a love for their Pastor, as he is a guy that has a sincere love for others. Though we may have differences on my view of things versus his view, we have a love and respect for each other. I admit I am not a consistent building attendee, because of my deep held beliefs in what I beleive should be early Christian Orthopraxy (church practices) for the church. I love God's people whereever they may be and love the body of Christ. I will be talking more about this in future writings, as I have said some very firm things in regard to this. I stand on these things as much as I do what is considered Orthodoxy( church beliefs or doctrine, as taught by Christ, the Apostles and the early church). I have considerable differences over what has happened to Christianity as a result of the changes made by the early church fathers (the paternalistic age) once the Apostles had passed on. I however, will never allow these differences to affect my love for my Christian brethern that may not understand these things or what has happened to the Ekklesia and how we need to return to the practices of the early Ekklesia. Understanding can only be taught most often to others by love and not debate, example and not force.
I want to say the body that gets together there at Faith Church in Athens is like any of the rest of us, they have problems wrestling with the world, the flesh and the devil everyday, but the one thing that helps them conquer often is love for one another and a very understanding and listening Pastor. Brother Leon Wallace is a fine men, and loves God's children. He is only trying to fulfill what he believes God has called Him to do, and the gift of teaching the Holy Spirit has bestowed upon him.
The believers there surely aren't perfect in their faith or their walk and neither am I. I love them all dearly, though we have lots of differing opinions about things. I want to thank those that were behind the decision to provide the funds for my trip home to be with my parents and those that gave this money and took it from their pockets to provide a point of love to me to come out here and be with my family.
I want to now return the spiritual blessing that comes with giving by writing what has transpired since their gift of love.
I want to tell the story of a miracle. My story while here.
I am not one to jump on the miracle boat, or fanciful stories often told by various groups. I approach everything in light of scripture and reality. I don't just accept stories told, I believe just as Jesus had the Leper follow the prescribed verifications for healings as laid out in the traditions of men (The Talmud)and in the Torah (Law of Moses) we should verify all miracles today with the methods provided us today to show the truth of the Gospel of Christ and the power of God in people's lives.
The Leper had to first go show himself to the Priest as prescribed by the Law of Moses and then offer a gift to God. (Luke 5:12-14
The man born blind and healed by Jesus, had to face the interrogation as prescribed by the Talmud and His family had to be interrogated by the high priest as well. (John the 9th chapter)
Jesus told the Leper and the blind man to do all these things as the Pharisees had developed a teaching to verify miracles in their writings known as the Talmud. Moses had prescribed a means in which the Leper was to be proven healed. They did this as there were many fanciful stories told of healings, demons being cast out and more, and many teachers who were not Jewish, etc. This was their way to determine the authenticity of a miracle. It was also as written in the Talmud only certain miracles would be able to be performed by the Messiah to prove he was the Messiah.Interestingly enough, Jesus did all of these.
Today, if we doubt a miracle we can use doctors, reports and all kinds of scientific verifications.
Jesus's miracle was proved using their prescribed methods to the "T" and most of all because there had never been anyone heal a Leper which was one of the things according to their traditional teachings that would verify who was the Messiah.
Only the Messiah, if he came would be able to do this.
Believe it or not, when the Jewish leaders crucified Christ they absolutely, beyond a shadow of doubt, knew they were crucifying the Lord of glory, the Messiah.
Anyway, back to my story.
There should never be any guess work, imagination or making things that aren't true true. That is deception. So I can tell you now, I don't just accept someone's stories of miracles unless they are verifiable. So, I tell you this story because it is true and happened to myself and family while I was here.
Thursday my father was given a stress test, the typical one, running the treadmill and cardiac analysis while having it done. He didn't do that well on it, but his heart seem to be doing well after they had shocked him Wednesday, and had returned to normal sinus rhythm. Wednesday night he did well, heart looked good. Thursday, he did well, Friday morning (today) they had decided to give him a chemical stress test and do some cardiac imaging as well, to insure that once his heart had to do some work he wouldnt have another heart attack.

This morning I got up a little late tired from running to and fro from the hospital for days now, I over slept and wasnt up at the hospital yet when they had Dad do a different physical stress test, and some imaging. Mom had spent the night with Dad there at the hospital. I rushed to get there, and they were ready to take him back upstairs. I pushed him back up in the wheel chair, thinking how it is strange that when we get old all things are reversed. When we were children, our parents had to care for us, nurture us, see us through our illnesses, our bumps, our bruises, but as we get older, we have to now do this for them. What a priviledge it is to return things to your parents that were provided for you so many years ago. Love, compassion care and more. If all Christians could only see how important this is, we could eliminate a lot of lonely shut ins- nursing homes and more.
Well they then did a chemical test on Dad, giving him a drug which makes the heart work harder, speeding up the hard rate, and then taking images of the heart while this all going on.
Well, Mom was a nervous wreck, it was taking a lot of time for some reason for his last imaging with the drug stress test. She could see back in the area where he lay in the imaging machine. She could see several people coming over there and all about him this brought her some concern which was very human on her part to be concerned. I admit I was as well. She walked back there and asked what was going on. Well the machine broke down during his imaging and they had to call the Techs over to fix it while he laid there. They finally got it up and running and he was done. I pushed him once again upstairs to his room in ICU. Knowing it would now be a wait for the Cardiologist to come up to Dad's room. I am talking to Dad while he is sitting up and he is conversing back. I am also watching the cardiogram hookup and noticing his pulse is rising, he is throwing a few PVC's (that's pre-venticular contractions and his pulse rate is rising and bouncing up and down like a ping pong ball. The only reason I can use all these terms and have any understanding of them at all is that I served the Glenwood Springs Emergency Services for 3 years as a certified Firefighter One and Medic. I also had Advanced Cardiac Support training and could interpret cardiac charts, as I took a nursing level course at St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado in the subject. I had worked on many a heart patient in the back of an Ambulance in my years there at Glenwood Springs Emergency Service.
Anyway, I call the nurse and ask her if they had yet given Dad his new Beta Blocker, Metopropyl, as his heart was definitely starting to go Tachy and was showing something other than a sinus rhythm. The nurse said no, so she comes in and gives him the pill. Well I waited a bit and assumed he would be fine. As I was leaving I noticed his BPM (beats per minute) was 146. I pointed to Mom and went on. Within an hour of getting home she calls me, crying and upset saying Dad was back in Atrial Fibrillation and the Cardiologist was telling her he was going to have some more invasive procedures. She was very upset and asked me to return and bring his CPAP, which is a breathing machine designed for people with sleep Apnea like myself and my Dad. I got there as soon as I could. On the way, I stopped and breathed a prayer for Dad. Asking the Lord to heal him, and let me have some more years of his wonderful laughter and jokes if it was within His will. I love his smile and and he loves to laugh. I like to make him laugh.
I arrive to find Mom and Dad in tears. Mom told me to talk to the Cardiologist nurse specialist that was the Cardiologist Assistant. Her and I walked around the corner from Dad's room and begin to talk. She begin to tell me the imaging shows some heart disease and damage, and that he will have to stay there and Monday they are taking him in for a Cardiac Catherization. Just as she is giving me the bad news, the Cardiologist walks up and says, "no, wait a minute, we have a change of plans". He tells her and I to follow him in to the room. We do, and he begins to speak.
He says, "I have some good news for you". He says, (quoting)" I don't undertand it but when I and the other Cardiologist were looking at your imaging, we saw diseased and damaged heart tissue.. He said so we took the images to confer with the other Cardiologist and when we all set down together, to look at the images again, there was no damage or diseased tissue showing in the images. We are going to send you home!
"I don't understand it", he replied.
My Dad says, "Well know one can know as much as God and the Doctors".
I and my Mom said it was God. The doctor agreed.
He tells us Dad will live fine with the Atrial Fib as I have since 1997, for him to continue to take the medication, get some exercise and come back for an Echogram in June, a visit with the Cardiologist for a followup in about a month, but he would need no other treatment that they can see as of now.
He is to get himself a new CPAP facial mask fitting on Monday and to use it every night, but he has a good Ventricular beat and he would be fine, go home.
For see, God has so designed our hearts that even when they don't beat perfectly, the ventricular lower half of our heart does all the work and keeps it going. Even when the Atrial just can't get it together all the way, the Doctors have come up with medicines, like the one I am on, which will help our bottom half of our heart keep up a good beat for years to come, and keep the life blood flowing through our veins. God is the great designer and the inspiration for many of these wonderful things discovered by Doctors and researchers. He gives men the ability to see beyond the surface of our skin and look inside. He gives them many abilities to heal us, but ulitmately when it gets down to the bottom wire, he holds all the juice that heals us and keeps us alive. A Doctor can never be God, he can only be a hand of the Lord and only when the Lord chooses to use them. God does use Doctors, but sometimes in cases like this he humbles even the best of Doctors with the surprises that he holds in His hands.
In my mind, that is a miracle!
Confirmed by the Doctor's. No sign of damage or disease. One minute two Cardiologist are saying he is in trouble and I am thinking now I have to call my boss to make arrangements to return to work later, changing flights, my sister was about to fly down and others suddenly between the time these two Cardiologist are going to confer with others, God does a miracle and there is no sign in the images of a problem, and I get to take my Dad home.
What an Awesome God we have!
He is and has always been "the Great Physician"!
This is one of the many confirmed miracle stories I can tell.
God has not ceased from doing miracles, but we must always remember, He does them when He chooses to, in His own timing, His own way, and in His own day. We can't manipulate the Father to do anything for us, even prayer doesnt manipulate God, not when we pray in His will.
"Not my will, but your will be done", this allows us in our heart to see God first and our desires second,this allows us to see God.

Dr. J

in Albquerque, New Mexico with a smile on his face.

Why So Long Since The Last Post

Well since I started writing my post, I have been pretty free in the mornings to write, however I had to start doing sales in the mornings as well as the evening.
The old man that I am, I have been pretty wiped out tired as the temperatures here have been crazy with sweltering humidity and lots of rain. I have been exhausted since. I also had a major computer crash about 4 days ago. I am barely up functioning on Windows XP without a lot of security updates because I had to reload and reformat and more just to get going again. It has been one problem after another.
My saying is when you start going for God, the devil is going to come along in the shadows and do everything he can to trip you on the path. Well that has been the story, a battle with forces beyond my control. My dependency has to be totally on Christ to just survive these days.
I also have Diabetes 2, and my oral medications have for whatever reasonm other than eating the wrong foods, have quit having much of an effect, and I can't afford to purchase the good stuff at $350.00 per month, so the Doctor had me on pills that only cost me about $16.00 per month. The difference for health care in this country is on how much money you have, like most other things.
I have to see my doctor soon as the State Board requires her to take me off the Medicine I using and either get me on something else- I can't take Glucophage because of stomach problems, so I was taking Glypicide (generic for Glucotrol), so I am left with two options, she will either put me on Actos ($300.00 per month), or send me to Endrocrinolgist for the purpose of putting me on Insulin. The latter most likely and I can't afford either so I may just end up having to live in a hyper sugar state running 300 to 400 everyday. Well, that will end my ability to work or do much of anything until it all kills me. So, I am prepared to just die, I guess. What choices does a poor man have in this country? It's not about healing the sick, it's all about money like everything else. There is no justice for the poor and there sure isnt much in the line of medical care.
So, the dark chasm of life is right there all the time, staring at each of us in the face, but for the rich, there is a bridge that has been built to the other side, while the poor keep falling into the hole and disappearing.
So, if you ask where have I been, why I havent written much? Well, health and the cost of living, and being married and trying to take care of the wants of a woman, versus the desires of the Lord. Thus Paul warned..STAY SINGLE! I think it is a great idea if you really have the Lord in your heart and a mission He has given you to accomplish.
So, I will try to write more often, even if it kills me. Sorry for the laspe of time since I last posted. So on we go. I did accomplish more reading over this time and will soon be writing more about Constantine and the traditions added by men to which the church has subscribed to since.
Until, then keep me in prayer.

Dr. J

The Ongoing Battle For Sanity

I am writing this today for a specific reason. There are a few Americans that realize what is really taking place in this country. One of those few Americans years ago, a Los Angelese Police Detective, named Mike Ruppert, faced the ugly fact that drugs were being brought into this country and overlooked by our government. This transpired as a girlfriend of his, who worked for the CIA, asked him to assist the government by overlooking the drugs, to assist in the battle against terrorist, etc. Mike couldn't do it, he stood his ground as an upright moral individual, who had taken an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States, which it seems many of today's political leaders have forgotten, or at least that part which contains the Bill of Rights.
Mike was ruined purposely and ran out of the LA Police department when he attempted to do what was right. Report it and stop it. For years Mike has been reporting things as he sees them, and the truth about 911, the Oil Cartels, the real drug lords and more. Sadly, he has been harrased and finally had his offices burglarized. Mike ran a web site called "From the Wilderness" Over the lsat several years he had to deal with people planted in his office on more than one occassion to try to discredit him, even try to set him up with sexual harrasment. He was smart, and got them instead however, his fight to change things from within the system, came to an end. He gave up his favorite office, his country and his ability to try to get people to think for themselves. He tried for years to get people to wake up to what was really going on in the U.S. government, instead of living in the world of smoke and mirrors that we have become accustomed to.
Mike left the United States, in fear of his own life being threatened, in that time he became seriously ill and is now in a hospital in Canada. He has been left broke, and in debt. Some even suggest he may have been poisoned. The symptoms are there. He gave into the pressure exerted as it is on all great people in this country that ever tried to tell the truth or change the evil for good, or bring light where there was darkness. He has lost the battle, like so many have, Martin Luther King Jr., John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and many more, who saw what was happening to America and wanted to warn us, and change it.
Though yet, alive, his dream is dead, and he is left in pain and agony lying in a hospital and now trying to pay off debts to his readers and creditors.

The New World Order is here to stay, there is no use any longer to go on trying to tell people the facts. When your own life is threatened and your own government is possibly behind the harrasment, to silence you. You throw in the towel and say OK, I give. I have thought often over the last year of quitting and saying what is the use of trying to talk to anyone about what is really going on. I really have got to that point. People will not listen, as long as they can buy a new car, have a new TV set or buy a new home. Babylon is born! They have already accepted the "mark of the beast". They have accepted the great delusion God said he would send.

The present state of affairs in America is far from what I ever believed it would become. We have now turned to pushing the rest of the world around in the name of anti-terrorism, killing people where ever we think it is necessary and justifying it even in the American churches. Christian Nationalism has destroyed what was left of the Gospel of Christ. There is no Muslim or Buddhist, or other religion that will hear our new gospel, because it sounds too much like theirs - "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth", dying for your cause, guarantees entry into heaven now.
We without a doubt have allowed this new fascism of superiority over all governments, people and religions to become a reality. We have done most of this for the sake of oil, it is truly the black death, for whoever has it will find itself in a war to keep it. We have done it for the sake of a false gospel that protects a government in Israel that kills and persecutes even it's own, and Christian Palestinians as well.

The American corporation has provided death to American manufacturing and farming owned by individuals and opted for Corporate ownership and dictatorship. We have dealt death to the American inspired to live the American dream, of a small but successful business to feed his family. We have created a world in which the government and the corporation are bed partners, locked into each other's arms like a whore and her client.

If you don't believe that, then let's look at a statement as recorded by Mikes' notes on his leaving the U.S.

"One thing is certain about fascism and that is that its behavior and evolution are remarkably predictable. Five years ago I helped bring into world consciousness a forgotten quote from Benito Mussolini wherein he said that, “Fascism ought to more properly be called corporatism since it is the merger of state and corporate power.” Nothing better describes the state of the world today. The U.S. is a nation of the corporation, by the corporation, and for the corporation. As such it has placed something different from and opposed to the welfare of human beings on the compass as its “true North”.

"Fascism always becomes more vicious as it evolves. It never retreats, and as with drug addiction, larger and larger doses of oppression and violence are always required to sustain its inevitable path towards self-destruction."

end quote

We are on a drive of American hegonomy across the world, this drive as Rome's greed for power over all other nations will destroy us.

We are a nation bent on self destruction right now. We have listened too long to those whose sole purpose in life is to make a dollar regardless of who suffers in the quest of it. The love of money is truly the root of all evil. America is in love with the dollar and itself - and soon very soon, I see a fall coming. Just as Rome stood thinking it was established by the gods and could not fail, American people have become puffed up with pride and bloodshed in their hearts and think that becuse they call themself Christians and support the apartheid government of Israel (who are not true Jews) they will not fall.
I have tried on many occassions to talk to friends and family about these things, but they are blind, and truth is not what they want to hear. What they want to hear is how we will rule the world, and make everything safe, and we will have our homes, our cars, and television sets without fear of threat from without. They have forgotten, every great nation has fallen from within. The new Rome - America, is about to face the same consequences, when it does, I will not say, "I told you so".
I have wasted my breath to often and like Mike, I really feel like I have wasted my time to speak. Jesus put it best, when he said, "Let the blind lead the blind".

There once was hope, but with all the recent advent of the destruction of human rights, privacy rights, the cry to torture other humans to protect ourselves. I hear only the words of Adolph Hitler, who too thought that his race the Arayan was supreme.

We in America have come to believe that our way of life is supreme, that our religion is supreme, that our materialism is supreme, that our drug addiction is supreme, our aborted babies is supreme, our hatred for other races, other countries is supreme. We have lost the very backbone of Christianity- Keep my commandments- Love one another as I have loved you. Jesus was not saying just love those that fit into your group, your ideals, your race, your country, your church, your community, but to love all mankind as he did. He gave his life, that the world might be saved. He too was silenced by the majority, for the words he spoke were life.

America use to appreciate life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness equally for all men and not just for Americans. We have strayed far from that path these days- it is a path that will result in our destruction. I assure you, history repeats itself. I quote once again from one of our Presidents who realized this, Abraham Lincoln- who too was silenced. Thus the ongoing battle for sanity remains. I write, in hope to bring light to people who have somehow learned to love darkness rather than light.

America will never be destroyed from the outside.
If we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
--Abraham Lincoln



Dr. J.

Days of Frustration

You ever had one of those days when everything seems to go wrong? When everything you planned to accomplish either doesn't get done or is it so difficult you just want to scream. I did, that was today! You know being a Christian doesn't exclude you from tough times or frustration in real life scenarios. Mine, started getting that way last week. My truck radiator gave up the ghost. She blew, I mean she blew and steam came out from there so thick, I thought my truck was on fire. I began to look for a new radiator and of course in our world today of auto parts, the price is a poor man's weekly wage. Now, get this, a Dodge 1996 Ram 1500 pickup radiator which is made of plastic and aluminum they want $225.00 for. Now, I know aluminum prices have gone up, but that's ridiculous. Well, I got a quote for one that was used for $125.00 in Tyler so I drove up there Saturday and they weren't open. The hunt was on, same kind of pricing for new ones there too. I begin to check out junk yards and that came to no avail. Finally, I went to an old source in Tyler where I had a radiator repaired back in the 70's. He had moved closer to the North Loop off North Highway 14. Well my repairman told me he couldn't get the tanks for the thing, and that otherwise he couldnt repair it, but then again maybe he could, "bring it by", he said. So, Tuesday, I drove up to Tyler again, he beat around the bush a little then said, "I have a new tank for that", he said, "but they are expensive, 120.00 dollars to do the job if it will take".At this point I said, "go ahead and see what you can do". Well, I went up to get it Wednesday, and he said he had fixed it, charged me what he said he would. Told me it was plugged up a lot but he cleaned it all up for me.I paid the man and went home. I had to go to work that evening so I couldn't get it in yet. So today, I get up bright and early, I was going to attack removing the old thermostat and replacing it and do the radiator on Friday when I would be off from work all day. Well, don't even dream of doing a thermostat on a Dodge truck, the two bolts mind you, to remove the top hose and get to the thermostat are buried so deep down under a ton of brackets for the AC and the Alternator, only a genius or someone very patient with lots of time can get it out. I gave up and said to myself, " it's staying and I'm praying, that it will last".
I started putting the radiator back in and got to fastening the right side back to the shroud that goes around the fan and all and , no clip fastners for the bolts to go in, no bushing to hold the radiator up against the cross bar. The guy had forgot to take them out of my old radiator and put them in the new tank he put on. I could have screamed at this point. I was frustrated! Now, the test comes in. What do we do, when things get beyond our control at times. Well, I hopped on my motorcycle drove to town and found a radiator shop, the only one around, that may not even be in operation anymore as the guy told me, the son of the guy that use to do it had quit recently. Anyway, it was down on the Y at the corner. The guy was real nice he knew exactly what I was looking for and gave them to me, at no charge. Well, that relieved some of the pain of the day. I went home with them in my pocket ready to get after it. My grand daughter brought me my mail, Oh no, a letter I was expecting didn't come, so I called the party sending it, and guess what they mailed it to the wrong address. Well not really, see 911 has one address, and UPS will deliver to that one, but no, the U.S. Postal service has another one. So, needless to say, the mail I was expecting, which just happen to be very important to me, is lost in mail land somewhere. Frustrated again!, Well, the radiator replacement went well. Pain relieved again. Now, I am trying to put water in the radiator, and flush it, and along comes my 5 year old grand daughter wanting to play in the water with the hose, while I am asking her to turn it off, she is watering everything in sight. I finally cut it off myself, with a battle of course. I'm trying to finish up and the cell phone rings about this time. My wife calls, I vent, my frustration at her I guess, because she thought I was angry and wouldnt talk to me in that condition. Well, once I got it all together, got my bath, sat down to relax before having to go to work, I placed a call to her and apologized. What a jerk, I am! How often, do we as husbands and wife's allow our frustrations to get to us, and our spouse has nothing to do with it, and we blow up on them. A lot, I am sure. The difference should be as in my own case, we need to apologize and start over. Start over with prayer as well. We are not to be anxious the scripture says, we are to take everything in prayer to him, we forget, I did. We are not to worry about tommorrow, the evil of today is sufficient. I think Christ understood we were going to have days, when radiators would blow up, bolts wouldn't work, kids would play with water and get in our way, and letters wouldn't come we expected. He knew, because he lived as a Carpenter for 30 some odd years. He had to know the frustration we would encounter. I'm sure he hit his thumb a few times with His hammer. Ouch! He is a help in time of need, for scripture says, he was tempted in everyway as we are, yet He didn't sin. What a wonderful thing to have His Spirit there to comfort us, but also to point out to us when we need to say, I'm sorry. Isn't it great to be a Christian and have the Holy Spirit help us when we are wrong or have wronged others?